My bed sucks.

All of last academic year, I slept on my sister's old mattress. She had used that very same mattress through most of her youth, and as such, was very used to its...form, so to speak. It is probably the worst mattress in the history of man, and I'm including beds made out of pure granite. This mattress feels like it would be more comfortable than the floor, but if you thought that, you'd be wrong, because I've felt better waking up on the floor than with the devil-mattress. Or maybe I'm just bitter because I slept on it today, my back now really hurts, and I have to work all night.

Sure, I'm bitter for other reasons, but this is today's number one.